7/8/2014.

I don’t know if I am not self-harm coping   b/c I don’t have the means for it or b/c I learned coping skills at LC (day program) and/or at DBT. I still have days I can’t leave the house & inside I still feel like my octopus is drowning me at the bottom of the ocean.  *might have if there was a means of my choice to do it.  Meaning, I am more of a numb my brain with medications self-harmer. I don’t drink which can also numb your brain. I keep saying that & feel on the edge, but I’ve been without a car for 3 days so I feel trapped physically and emotionally right now. My car is in the shop because the entire electrical system of the steering column went out.

I had to work the game and the battery died. I had a nervous breakdown when no one from press had jumper cables. I sobbed and sobbed until one of the guys said he would stay with me until triple A arrived. It was my first day back to work and already anxiety provoking for me.